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Joke of the Day

"Wedding rehearsals, because ruining your life takes practice."

"I'm going to be a virgin for life Set a good example for my kids."

"Did you hear about the magician who became a farmer? ...he was driving his tractor down the road, and suddenly, he turned into a field."

"Show me a cannibal who gets sick on missionary stew... ...and I'll show you that you can't keep a good man down!"

"Two muffins are baking in the oven. One looks at the other and says ""it sure is getting hot in here, whew!"" The other muffin looks back and says ""Holy Shit! A talking muffin!"""

"I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, ""We legally had to do this."""

"A study was just published that shark attacks happen most often in water. Now I have to worry about the ones that occur elsewhere."

"Encyclopedias are just ghetto Google."

"Running is a lot more fun when you're laying on the couch and not running"

"How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring."