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Joke of the Day

"Me: You need to eat vegetables instead of candy if you want to be tall. 4-year-old: I'll just be small and happy."

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear about the college for dolphins? It was for educational porpoises only."
"For Halloween, I've decided to go as the scariest thing I could think of Hillary J. Trump"
"Hey guys just wanted to let you guys know that I'm vegan"
"[first date] Her: I like a guy who gets a little nasty Me: [puts hand sanitizer away] I used a gas station bathroom once"
"If you ever see me on my death bed, please take me off my death bed & move me to my alive bed thx"
"Why did Cinderella get kicked off for the soccer team? She kept running from the ball."
"What's a Russian's favorite food? Vladimir Poutine"
"What does the Secret Service say when Donald Trump gets shot at? ""Donald! Duck!"""
"A wise man once said cheez doodles were better than cheetos, but his opinion was biased."