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Joke of the Day

"Me: You need to eat vegetables instead of candy if you want to be tall. 4-year-old: I'll just be small and happy."

"I was astonished to learn that the meat in Subway was slaughtered in a traditional Muslim way. I mean how the fuck do they fit a rucksack on a cow?"

"What did arnold schwarzenegger say to the chemist Get to the COPPER!!!!!"

"Did you hear about the new Home for Paraplegic Women I hear the place is crawlin with broads"

"Did you hear about the man who was frozen to absolute zero? He's 0k now"

"If you're a kid and have problems with pedophiles... grow up"

"I used to think I had bad taste, but then I met my girlfriend and now I know what someone with bad taste really looks like."

"Why is PBS asking me for money? If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment."

"My family thinks I don't get jokes But I'm actually great at them!"

"Police Officer: Why were you speeding? Women Driver: I was late for traffic school."