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Joke of the Day

"Why is PBS asking me for money? If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment."

"I want to be a host at a restaurant so if someone asks for a booth I can yell, ""YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BOOTH!"""

"Chuck norris once put a forest fire out by spitting on it."

"A guy walks into a psychiatrist wearing saran wrap pants He says ""Doctor, I think I'm crazy"" The doctor says, ""Well I can clearly see your nuts"""

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate food before it was cool"

"I asked a beautiful homeless girl if I could taker her home with me. She said, ""Yes!"" With a big smile... But that quickly changed when I walked away with the cardboard box that she lived in."

"You can't lose a homing pigeon... If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon."

"Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd Never Forget"

"A joke my 5yrs old just told me. Why did the police and fireman come?... Cause I just call them."

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year"