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Joke of the Day

"If Adam and Eve were chinese they would have stayed in paradise Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple."

"So when a cop asks you why you have a handcuff key on your key ring, saying it was his wife's idea will get you a free ride in his cop car"

"You might as well shoot for the stars because... Best case scenario you succeed and are immediately vaporized into nothing. Worst case scenario you miss and fade into the endless void of nothing."

"I sold my sole to the Devil yesterday... He was pretty pissed off when he found out it wasn't a typo."

"Ask your doctor if being a doctor is right for him. Everything isn't about you."

"Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock? So he could wake up inside."

"So did you hear about the brother and sister that got married? They opened up an incesteraunt."

"Luis Suarez is to appear in the next Star Wars film. He'll play Chewbacca's brother, Chewshoulder."

"TRIVIA: The sinking of the Titanic in 1912 cost 1,502 lives. Adjusting for inflation, that would be over 8,500 people today!"

"A well-known doctor recently passed away and is having a funeral this weekend. There will be no coffin at the funeral."