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Joke of the Day

"What time is it in New York City? 5 past Lundqvist"

"A Roman man walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers... and says ""5 beers thanks""."

"One potato asks another: -""Are you sure we are related?"" -""Yes I yam!"""

"A bit of Christmas Doggerel Oh, you better not shout, you better not cry, you better bite the pillow, cuz I'm going in dry."

"When I figured out that people walk on hardwood and carpet, I was floored."

"Moses opens his tablet. The notification says, ""You have 10 unread commandments'."

"If a waffle is a pancake with abs. Then is a sauage a peice of bacon with a dick? (NAF"

"Whats the problem with tainted money? It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win? :D)"

"What do slutty women and Windows have in common? They're both backwards compatible."

"*Invents silent snack packages. *Becomes president of the United States."