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Joke of the Day

"Change the last word of your favorite movie title to ""Impregnator"" e.g. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's **Impregnator** Transformers, Revenge of the **Impregnator**"

"Fun prank. Tell your bf you're getting your hair done. Leave. Don't get your hair done. When you come back & he says it looks great stab him"

"Look what the cat dragged in! *freaks out remembering I don't have a cat and house was built on top of a pet cemetery*"

"Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo this morning? Apparently they still have 500 million users."

"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone."

"Can you imagine if none of the midwives showed up for a birth? That would be a midwife crisis"

"An owl and a mouse are sitting on a branch when a farmer walks by below. The owl turns to the mouse and says nothing. Because owls can't speak. The owl then eats the mouse because it's a bird of prey."

"The Holocaust."

"Back in the day I was attracted to this chick but never had enough guts to ask her out but after witnessing first hand the drama she creates on Facebook I am glad I dodged that bullet."

"a photon checks into a hotel... And the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage and he replies, ""no, I'm traveling light."""