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Joke of the Day

"Don't touch my nutella with your banana."

"What's the difference between my 83-year old grandfather and /r/Jokes? My grandfather doesn't have Alzheimers"

"Boyfriend wants me to eat loads of purple candy so I can ""dye"" his balls for Easter. He better trim the grass first."

"Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am--you've made a minimally powerful enemy."

"How did the farmer move his cows? In a mooving van!"

"What do Nazi Germany and vaginas have in common? Their tendency to subjugate poles."

"Trying to make pancakes this morning and it turns out I didn't get the spatula in the divorce."

"Why do people make fun of me because I've never grabbed a girl's boobs? I still don't get tit."

"I used to steal funny jokes I still do, but I used to, too."

"Why was the headmaster worried? Because there were too many rulers in school!"