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Joke of the Day
"Why do people make fun of me because I've never grabbed a girl's boobs? I still don't get tit."
Next Joke
"Let's Play Communist Monopoly! Oh wait..."
"Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered"
"What does 80 year old pussy smell like? Depends"
"You've got two brain cells: one is in a wheelchair and the other one is pushing."
"I slapped a girl in the face at the bar last night ... She told me her name!! Edit: I made up this while waiting for GoT. Please don't get mad. ^I'm ^^pathic ^^^and ^^^^awkward."
"Why did God kick Joe Paterno out of Heaven? ....because he picked Michael Jackson as his new assistant coach."
"Wearin' aviators tells the world you're a bad mamma jamma who ain't afraid to shin kick a terrorist or smoke a lawn flamingo if need be."
"Packing to move is the probably the worst game of Tetris I've ever played."
"One-Liner: Jobs growth in the United States is now down to just hair and fingernails."