24047

Joke of the Day

"A second date is probably not likely if your date pulls out and clutches a crucifix when you enter the room."

"So everyone knows, it's frowned upon to yell ""Hot potato"" when someone hands you a baby and toss it back to them"

"Why has Hillary Clinton ask Santa for a 23 letter alphabet? Because she's sick of F.B.I"

"President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom."

"Playing Pokemon Go is like having sex with a cheap hooker... ..You never know what you're going to catch."

"Dwayne Johnson, paper, scissors"

"Inventor of the bar code dies at 91. Several burial attempts will be made before a manager is called to enter him into the ground manually."

"[Bar] HER: I want to have sex so badly ME: [trying to impress her] I am so bad at sex"

"A(n atrocious) Knock-Knock Joke Knock knock! Who's there? Cop car goes ""wee!"" Cop car goes ""Wee!"" who..."

"I had a friend who got fired working in a urine testing lab.... he wouldn't say why but personally, I think, it was because he was taking the piss..."