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Joke of the Day
"Sucks that these Crest strips only come in white"
Next Joke
"As a matter of fact, I _AM_ trying to cause a big sensation... Just talkin' 'bout double p-penetration"
"Just held the door for an Asian guy and he said ""Sank you"" so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."
"These days, lots of things get either exported or imported Except Mexicans, they get deported."
"If I walk you home and kiss you goodnight, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this calling the cops crap."
"100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?"
"Why are muslim people so kind-hearted? Because they don't live long, especially when they're a bomb"
"How to get out of jury duty: When they read the charges, no matter what they are, yell out ""Oh come on. Even I've done THAT!"""
"Q: Where do fleas go to surf? A: To the microwave."
"Honey, were out of snake food. ""What? For what snake?"" Honey, I bought a snake"