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Joke of the Day

"In a group friends when you laugh you will always look at the person you like the most... Thats why I always sit next to a mirror."

"What's the difference between regular sex and anal sex? One makes your day and one makes your hole weak."

"How many Donald Trumps does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he'll get the Mexicans to do it."

"A CW told me for the 50th time that her baby learned how to walk so I told her""if you really wanna impress me lmk when it learns how to fly"""

"Q: How was the pig defeated in court? A: Oinkontroverible evidence against it and oinkonsistencies in the defense."

"BRAZIL: Can you describe your attacker? RYAN LOCHTE: You wouldn't know him. He goes to another Olympics. #LochteGate"

"Was shopping for a toilet. Sales guy showed me the newest model they had in store. It uploads all my shit to Facebook."

"3. That's how many times you have to ask someone if they're grumpy before they get grumpy."

"Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by... ""What's so funny?"" asks the dermatologist. ""Sorry, it's a inside joke."" replies the surgeon."

"Why did MacDonald's ban Tumblr? Because they don't serve Trans-Fats."