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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the cross-eyed carpenter? He *literally* can't even."
Next Joke
"Do cucumbers make anyone else burp? Or am I shoving mine up to far?"
"Can someone tell old people about call waiting, turn signals, and debit/check cards?"
"What's an Australian's favorite element? Gold"
"Did you hear Barnum and Bailey Circus is shutting down? They can't compete with American politics."
"Trapped on a train in the snow, and honestly, none of these people look appetizing."
"I took the shell off my racing snail... I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish."
"When life gives you lemons, make a dress with them. -Lady Gaga"
"Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys? In 2015 humans consumed 65 million tons of bananas and only 8 monkeys."
"I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing. She's behind with the laundry."