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Joke of the Day

"I took the shell off my racing snail... I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish."

"Your hips may not lie but your pushup bra is a sociopath."

"How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb? One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs"

"The problem with political jokes is that they always get elected"

"What's the difference between purple and pink? The grip."

"What is something a lot of redditors mix up? /r/askreddit and /r/jokes titles"

"Sometimes after a long hard day at work, it takes me 4 bars to get home"

"My wife tells me she wants me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I'm thinking about getting her a treadmill."

"It's so annoying when people make fun of what other people are wearing. Like yeah, this dress is a little tight, my legs are a little hairy, and my dick is hanging out but still!"

"What do you call when a blonde dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence"