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Joke of the Day

"I took the shell off my racing snail... I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish."

Next Joke
 
"Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make the introductions"
"If I've learned anything in my 29 years, it's never admit your real age."
"A man is making moonshine. But the machine isn't working. He goes to see his friend Gino. Gino looks at the machine and says ""That's cause it's a still!"""
"""How dare you judge her size..."" ""The woman has had three children!"" ""For lunch?"""
"What do you call a fear of deadly snakes? Common sense."
"What's SpongeBob's worst personality trait? He's way too self-absorbent"
"An egg and a chicken are lying in bed, the egg's enjoying a nice, post-coital smoke... Chicken looks over and says ""Well, that answers that question. """
"What do you call a bee that lives in the US? USB ^^ I'll show myself out..."
"snickers where r mah snickers"