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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump and the 2016 Presidential Election I would make a political joke about it but then it would get elected."

"In my experience there's two ways to get things done, the right way and the drunk way."

"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."

"Who represents a Ghost in court? A Paralegal."

"People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?"

"""Out with the dead, in with the old."" - Nursing homes"

"My friend overheard me saying I could go for some malt liquor. Instead, the bastard got me a box of Whoppers. ""What the hell is this?!"" I said. ""Suck on them. Now, you're a *malt licker*!"""

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism."

"I really want to kill my roommate but I just dont know if I could live with myself."

"Why do horses make terrible congressmen? Because they can only say ""neigh!"" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary."