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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump and the 2016 Presidential Election I would make a political joke about it but then it would get elected."

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"In my experience there's two ways to get things done, the right way and the drunk way."
"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."
"Who represents a Ghost in court? A Paralegal."
"People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?"
"""Out with the dead, in with the old."" - Nursing homes"
"My friend overheard me saying I could go for some malt liquor. Instead, the bastard got me a box of Whoppers. ""What the hell is this?!"" I said. ""Suck on them. Now, you're a *malt licker*!"""
"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism."
"I really want to kill my roommate but I just dont know if I could live with myself."
"Why do horses make terrible congressmen? Because they can only say ""neigh!"" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary."