138643
Joke of the Day
"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."
Next Joke
"What do you call a criminal with an STD? A herpetrator."
"You: ""Whale you be my Valentuna?"" Me: ""Dolphinately."""
"What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving? For me it's three weeks."
"Why does Britain love tea so much? Because tea leaves."
"The best joke ever What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday? For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad? Ye, pharaoh-nuff"
"If Jesus could walk on water and cucumbers are 96% water and I can walk on cucumbers does that mean the other 4% accounts for Jesus's dick?"
"My dog got into a bag of baking soda this morning ...and now she's a basic bitch"
"I live life by 3 rules: 1- Get ripped. 2- Stay ripped. 3- Live in denial so that life is bearable."
"what's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? the taste."