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Joke of the Day

"Why does the pedophile like Halloween? Free shipping."

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the other losers who missed a 15 million square mile target."

"When I RT what I'm actually saying is ""Fuck I wish I wrote that"""

"So I was dating this girl with a lazy eye... It would have worked out, but I discovered she was seeing someone on the side"

"What does a spider want to be when he grows up? (This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer."

"50 cent declares bankrupcy... he hasnt got a dollar to his name"

"I heard a joke about a German sausage today It was the wurst"

"I had sex last night... Her: You don't have AIDS, right? Me: Of course not, why? Her: Oh thank goodness! I got it last time and it really sucked."

"DAD: I invented a diaper that's also a time machine! MOM: Where do the poops go DAD: dunno! [CUT TO: A BUNKER IN GERMANY, 1942] HITLER: omfg"

"what do you say when you're out of spoons? fork it."