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Joke of the Day

"I wear dresses to work so it takes me less time to use the loo so people won't think I'm pooping. So yeah, I'd say I'm pretty professional."

"My girlfriend is great in bed... But I don't know how my best friend would know that."

"How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath."

"What do you call a group of emos? The Suicide Squad"

"I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won't let me use their microwave."

"One fifth of people... ...are just too tense!"

"A brother and sister are having sex The sister tells her brother: You are better than dad. To which the brother replies: I know, mom told me."

"What's black and white and red all over? Schindler's List"

"My 6 month old daughter told me this joke.... but its not funny so i won't waste your time. kids aren't funny you guys nobody cares if they told you a lame joke"

"What do you call a black abortion clinic? Crimestoppers."