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Joke of the Day
"I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won't let me use their microwave."
Next Joke
"I don't throw anything out anymore I just go to TGIFriday's once a month and glue more shit to the wall no one notices try it"
"What does a redditor do after his picket fence is installed? He re-posts it."
"I just licked guacamole off my elbow. Yup."
"My girlfriend asked me if I could have a threesome, which of her friends I would choose... I SHOULD NEVER HAVE NAMED 2 FRIENDS!"
"What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life? Smallpox"
"How many ""suh dudes"" does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. It's already lit fam."
"What do we want? SOME GOOD DECISIONS! When do we want them? BEFORE LAST NIGHT!"
"A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks- it was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register."
"Boss: I was listening to some Tool on the way to work. Me: I talk to myself when I'm driving sometimes too, it's ok. Boss: Just get out."