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Joke of the Day

"My 6 month old daughter told me this joke.... but its not funny so i won't waste your time. kids aren't funny you guys nobody cares if they told you a lame joke"

"What did the lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vampire? ""See you next month"""

"I walk away from auto-flush toilets like movie stars walk away from explosions"

"[Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here"

"What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar? May I push your stool in?"

"Unless you met your spouse while committing a diamond heist, I don't need to hear how you got together."

"Bratwurst, Sauerkraut, Cabbage, Potatoes, Cheese, Beetroot, Onions, Bread, Butter. Schindler's mom's list."

"How do you make an ugly kid? Go ask your mother Courtesy of a hot dog vendor in Atlanta"

"Woman of my dreams I don't sleep so I can't find her!"

"There once was a man named Dave. He kept a dead whore in a cave. He said ""what the hell, You get used to the smell, And think of the money you save!"""