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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is great in bed... But I don't know how my best friend would know that."

"I'm not saying I'm a bad cook. But how long does pasta stay in the toaster?"

"Q: What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour? A: A fuel injected pickle."

"A Roman walks into a bar... ... holds up two fingers, and says ""Five beers please!"""

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff... Ba-Dumm-Tss"

"What would a character from the Star Wars universe shout before a suicide bombing? ADMIRAL ACKBAR!"

"A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery. He was found praying with friars."

"Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"My girlfriend asked me what color her eyes were today... I responded, ""36C""."

"Not tryin to impress anyone BUT the priest did just say I had the ""body of Christ"" right before he fed me a cracker. Gym has been paying off"