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Joke of the Day
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she flirted with the road's husband."
Next Joke
"What's a Redditor's favorite color? M'genta"
"I was going to make my friend some spaghetti... But sadly he pasta whey!"
"He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Sounds like Santa's had Facebook way before us."
"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? Yoghurt has culture"
"If anyone is interested I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security."
"Mom: Why are you eating my flowers? Me: I'm gonna be young FOREVER! Mom: How? Me: Duh, from the stem cells. Mom: I'm worried about you."
"Did you hear about the skydiving company that stopped providing their own parachutes? Too much overhead."
"What's comforting and scary at the same time? A warm toilet seat."
"Last year I asked a girl out, this year I'd ask her to marry me but... the restraining order is still in effect..."