48682

Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me... ...if I could eat her pussy when she got home from work. Later in the evening she asked me why I never ate her pussy. To which I replied ""What do you think was in the stew?"""

"How did the stoner die? Blunt force trauma."

"[texting] So what's your name? ""ily"" omg this is moving too fast. ILY: (yelling) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN MOM, WHY DID YOU NAME ME THAT?"

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth."

"I have seasonal depression I'm depressed in the spring, summer, fall and winter"

"Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween? Because OCT 31 == DEC 25"

"I'm in so much trouble. My twitter crush found out about my boyfriend and now they're both on their way to tell my husbands."

"Our conscience is clear- we don't use it."

"Teacher to Student...? Conjugate the verb ""to walk"" in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk .... The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run ..."

"You might be a hipster if... Friend: Did you see that <funny cat picture> on reddit's frontpage? Me: Naah, I don't subscribe to all the big, popular subreddits."