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Joke of the Day

"Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails? He thought it would be a pedicure. ^^^sorry."

"My college girlfriend texted me for the first time in 10 years this weekend and I'm 1 million percent sure this is Adele's fault"

"I don't need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands. :/"

"Christmas: One woman's lie about a one night stand that got completely out of hand."

"Sometimes a man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name."

"Just been sent to jail for the first time and spent the first half hour getting ass raped. My Uncle Frank takes Monopoly far too seriously"

"A friend of mine from Europe told me this beer joke What's the difference between American beer and sex in a canoe? Nothing. They're both fucking close to water."

"new pet ideas: an egg with hair on, small bear, tictac size baby cats, frog with wheels"

"Mad bunny What is the difference between an angry rabbit and a counterfeit dollar bill? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny."

"What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene"