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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros? A cow can't be milked for over 30 years"

"*puts dreamcatcher above bed* ""Sure hope this works"" *wakes up in the middle of the night* *Ryan Gosling is stuck in dreamcatcher* ""YES"""

"What do you call a Jamaican guy on the internet? A digimon."

"I bought a vacant piece of land recently, and every night someone keeps depositing soil on the land. I still can't figure out who it is. The plot thickens."

"You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets."

"This florist doesn't even know anything about floors, and he's acting like I'm the stupid one!"

"I've been nominated for person most likely to not be nominated for anything."

"*tree falls in the forest* *tree pretends to start jogging so it doesn't look like an idiot*"

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK? One got his head blown off while the other got assasinated."

"Q: What's as sharp as a vampire's fang? A: His other fang."