206715

Joke of the Day

"This florist doesn't even know anything about floors, and he's acting like I'm the stupid one!"

"What would be the name of a gangster who makes terrible movies? Suge Knight Shyamalan."

"If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I'll be out sick."

"Learning how to say ""where the hell am I?"" in eight languages. Just in case."

"I'm 87% sure ""snooze button"" time is sped up and ""waiting for the microwave"" time is slowed down and this is not okay."

"what does a gay horse eat? HAAAAAAAAAY!"

"Did you hear about the newly sponsored gay NASCAR team? Its always in the rear of the field."

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, ""that's a little condescending."""

"The barista can't deal with the man's 'Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee' shirt. Her mouth opens, then closes. The line grows."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender says, ""Hey, Rene, you want a scotch?"" Descartes replies, ""No, I think not."" And then he vanishes. No dice."