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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest accomplishment?"" Me: ""I was in a lot of people's MySpace Top 8s back in 2004."""

"What do you call an IS-leader on a motorcycle? Abu Bikr"

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito."

"Noah build an ark ""what? why"" I'm gunna flood the earth ""just give me fish powers"" [jealous he didn't think of that] JUST DO WHAT I SAY!"

"Why are condoms transparent?"

"My favorite Jobs: 1. Blow 2. Steve"

"What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center? Two large plains."

"What is ISIL's favourite dessert? Terrormisu"

"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks... Well my wife's 70, with a face like the back of a bus, and last night I taught her to light her own farts."

"I went to the store today and bought a movie called ""Tiger Woods' 18 Greatest Holes"" When I got home, I was disappointed, it was about golf"