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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito."

"Why does laundry happen to good people?"

"I woke up last night and there was an enormous black coffin at the end of my bed. So I gave him a cough-drop and told him to fuck off."

"Why don't midgets like barbecues? because the steaks are too high."

"Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music? Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat."

"Hey teacher, i made a clock! ""Did you say Allahu Akbar?"""

"What kind of music did Jesus hate? Anything by Judas Priest and Nine Inch Nails."

"Did you know that Hitler invested in Minute Maid before he died? He heard they were 100% concentrated juice."

"The secret to my success lies with you having a poor grasp on it's definition."

"Bernie Sanders had a rally in Los Angeles last night attended by over 27,000 supporters. The rally set the world record for most Priuses in one parking lot."