137129

Joke of the Day

"Noah build an ark ""what? why"" I'm gunna flood the earth ""just give me fish powers"" [jealous he didn't think of that] JUST DO WHAT I SAY!"

"A man walks into a restaurant..."

"CRUEL JOKE What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Out in public, my husband and I only argue using whale sounds, so it's actually a very calm and soothing experience for people around us."

"what's the difference between a cross-eyed hunter and a constipated owl? the hunter shoots but can't hit..."

"Children are demo versions of humans."

"Having sex with a redditor is like reading the user license agreement. Nobody ever does it."

"Q: What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour? A: Leave it in the cow."

"Please don't put out your cigarettes in the urinal... they are so damn hard to light up again."

"I am not a ride or die chick. I have questions. Where we going? Will there be food? Why do I have to die? Why didn't you like my last pic?.."