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Joke of the Day

"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks... Well my wife's 70, with a face like the back of a bus, and last night I taught her to light her own farts."

"What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt ? 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'"

"Universities are like priests They will teach you a few things, and then take you into the back room to fuck you."

"You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts."

"How does a American mom know her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son's cock"

"Patient: ""Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."" Doctor: ""Next time, take off the candles."""

"Half of Chinese men have cataracts... The other half drive Lincolns."

"Always face somebody and make eye contact while talking... Especially when they attempt small talk at the urinal."

"What was Hitler's favorite animal? Da cow"

"""I need to find somewhere to park,"" I told my wife. ""What about over there?"" she said. ""I can't,"" I replied, ""It says between 1 and 9 only."" ""Well, why is that stopping you?"" ""I'm 23."""