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Joke of the Day

"I hope I never have more than one kid because the urge to superglue two children together is a crippling desire I struggle against everyday."

"What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me something smells."

"""Waiter ! Have you got frogs' legs ? "" ""No sir I always walk this way"""

"What lies at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck."

"What do Mexicans call a commando? A Juan man army..."

"If I were to steal an experiment from a microbiology lab... ...would it be cultural appropriation?"

"My younger brother told me this. Why don't crabs give to charity? Because they are shellfish"

"Three words are having an argument... Had, Made, and Did were having a very heated argument. They became more and more agitated as the argument went on. It was beyond tense... It was past tense."

"""Buttocks! Sexy sexy buttocks! Introduce me to your buttocks! My name is Tony!"" - from my new song, ""Dusk in Vienna"""

"how is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying."