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Joke of the Day

"""Buttocks! Sexy sexy buttocks! Introduce me to your buttocks! My name is Tony!"" - from my new song, ""Dusk in Vienna"""

"I told my dad I felt tired. ""There's a nap for that."""

"Our father who art in heaven what does that mean like painting or something"

"There's a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work"

"An Indian man died after hearing the price of pulses. The Doctor wrote ""high pulse rate"" as the cause of death."

"HR said it's not necessary but I like my sickness to be taken seriously by having my mom send in an email validating my degree of sickness"

"What do call forty lesbians in a tree A CUNTREE"

"Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer."

"What's the difference between a painting and Jesus. You only require one nail to put up the painting."

"Reddit is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it."