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Joke of the Day

"Missed connections: I was the guy in the Subaru listening to NPR; You were the river I briefly considered driving into."

"If she asks you to be in an open relationship, tell her to walk out that open door. She's a slut."

"Remember: It's not stalking if you don't see me."

"What is a banged-up used car? A car in first-crash condition."

"[Trigger Warning] [Deliberately Offensive Joke] NSFW. I'm irresistible to woman. ... Only because I'm much stronger than them!"

"In the USSR's School system it was very important not to fall asleep while the teacher was talking Or you would fail to achieve class consciousness."

"What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted."

"My mouth so dry... Eli Whitney walk up on me while I'm yawning and invent the cotton gin."

"What do you call two mexican firefighters? Hose A and Hose B."

"You had me at ""various dipping sauces"""