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Joke of the Day
"What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted."
Next Joke
"Girls are always the first to say ""YOLO"" Until I mention anal"
"I swallowed some food coloring. My doctor says I'm OK But I feel like I've dyed a little inside"
"A hamburger walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""
"*amasses epic army of stoners but we do nothing because epic army of stoners*"
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalatapus"
"Just went down to get my driver's license renewed but this time I made sure I was drunk for the picture. Now if I ever get pulled over for drunk driving, they'll just think I'm spastic."
"Am sitting in horrible traffic, but fortunately someone is beeping their horn so we should be on the move soon."
"Hits rock bottom. *adds Geologist to resume"
"Two foot fetishists are sitting in the back of a police van. One turns to the other says: ""I think we got off on the wrong foot."""