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Joke of the Day
"I'm glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done"
Next Joke
"A cup of coffee just walked up to my girlfriend and called her a 'whore'. I didn't even react. I think my caffeine tolerance is too high"
"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? Mick Jagger yells ""Hey! You! Get off my cloud!"" The shepherd yells ""Hey! McLeod! Get off my ewe!"""
"How much coke did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."
"How many feet are in a yard? Depends on how many people are standing in it."
"""Cheese cannon!"" ""Terminator eyes!"" ""Solar powered cat translator!"" I'm the reason genies limit you to 3 wishes."
"""I loves hows you've done me spinach Doc!"" Popeye tells his host. Hannibal winks. ""The secret is to add a bit of Olive Oil."""
"Avocado or Donald Trump? Avocado or Donald Trump for president? Well, one is a wrinkly old bag filled with green mush The other one is an avocado."
"[1hr before date] Me: (to waiter) So when I order the extra spicy chicken you say 'brave choice sir' and then bring the Lemon Herb chicken"
"My Gladiator DVD stopped working... Talk about an *epic* fail."