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Joke of the Day

"this is my cheat life i'll worry about carbs and a workout plan next reincarnation"

"What's a soldier's least favorite car company? KIA"

"If you have a pet parrot and don't teach it to say ""Help they've turned me into a parrot"", you're wasting everyone's time."

"Used to be I got stoned a lot, people called me a stoner. But now I'm older and my kid brother wants to get baked all the time. So what do I call him?"

"Russia: Why did the chicken cross the road? Ukraine: I don't know Russia why? Russia: To rescue oppressed Russian minority"

"What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? A lickalotapuss What do you call a gay dinosaur? A megasaurass"

"Tom Brady suspension increased to 8 weeks Additional 4 weeks for deflating the bench with his ass."

"Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"What is a frog's favourite website? REDDIT"

"Why did the witch go commando? She needed some better grip on her broomstick."