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Joke of the Day

"If you have a pet parrot and don't teach it to say ""Help they've turned me into a parrot"", you're wasting everyone's time."

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents."

"So apparently in a job interview, if the interviewer asks you to choose one word that describes you, the correct answer is not fergalicious."

"I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be."

"I don't mind your bad kids running around if you don't mind me tripping them."

"I do this fun trick at parties where no one there likes me so I don't go."

"What goes ha, ha, ha, clunk? A man laughing his head off."

"Counterspace..... is that like antimatter?"

"I say: ""No, sorry. I'm not on Facebook at all."" They hear: ""I live amongst hill people where The Goat we worship has forbidden friendship."""

"You know Collin Kapernik? Can't stand that guy........."