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Joke of the Day

"""Despite my best efforts, my hot air balloon just isn't going to fly."" ""Dude, that's a bike with a blanket on it."" ""My best efforts."""

"What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks? A two-weeker"

"I decided to have that fifth cup of coffee, and now the ghosts of my ancestors are scrolling through my iTunes trying to pick a summer jam."

"A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are watching a little boy play... The Priest says, ""I want to screw him."" The Rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""

"What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?"

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? If they had 4 doors they'd be chicken sedans."

"*Stands guard with scissors and tinsel* Wait, you said ""wrap battle"", right?"

"Kleptomaniacs really don't understand jokes Because they always takes things literally."

"I don't usually cry from onions, but this one's story is so inspirational."

"I thought air was free until I bought a bag of Lay's Potato Chips!"