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Joke of the Day

"I decided to have that fifth cup of coffee, and now the ghosts of my ancestors are scrolling through my iTunes trying to pick a summer jam."

"REQUEST: any Greg Giraldo jokes or is it still too soon? I think the world is ready. Shoot!"

"I'm not sure who told bald guys they were required to have goatees, but they all fell for it."

"How do you find a blind man in a nudist camp? It's not hard."

"The poorest man can be rich if he gets a bunch of money."

"A dyslexic, agnostic insomniac lay awake all night wondering if there is a dog. EDIT: Credit to David Foster Wallace."

"folks nowadays love Buzzfeed lists. well guess what kids, I've got a ""Top 10 list"" for u thats total #WIN. it's called the 10 Commandments"

"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

"Today I will be communicating exclusively through farts and meows"

"How does Microsoft count to 10? 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."