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Joke of the Day

"I don't usually cry from onions, but this one's story is so inspirational."

"I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed... How could anyone stoop so low?"

"Why are straight men smarter during sex? Because they're plugged into a fucking know-it-all."

"print out the lyrics to ""Girls Just Wanna Fun"" and draw a red X through it all and you have the Quran, pretty much"

"Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed."

"Let's play a game called Fuck Off You go first"

"A man shot a guy in the butt from 1000m away It was one helluva crack-shot."

"Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand not his ass or he'd have shot out web every time he farted."

"What would call a person who isn't worthy of being looked at? Unseaworthy"