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Joke of the Day

"*Goes to bathroom *Reaches down to unzip *Discovers pants have been unzipped for the last 4 hours *Starts wearing underwear"

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"How many penises it takes to satisfy president Obama? One, his own."
"Sorry, I can't delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one"
"What did the Leper say to the Prostitute? Keep the tip."
"""Pistorius"" sounds like a spell Harry Potter would use to make someone's legs disappear That's a Frankie Boyle joke"
"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A tomato"
"What font is used for alphabet soup. Times New Ramen"
"Why do Angelina Jolie's shirts have such big pockets? For her lipstick :D (modified joke originally from Sickipedia)"
"TIN MAN: I want a heart COWARDLY LION: And I want courage ZOMBIE: Braaaaains ACTOR PLAYING COWARDLY LION: W-wait. Where the hell'd Ray go?"
"MERS is infecting people in Saudi Arabia... And Haj is just around the corner!"
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