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Joke of the Day
"I cut myself shaving today... because who has time to do both?"
Next Joke
"No one wants to be the sofa king But they all think they're sofa king funny."
"Sometimes I just like to surprise my liver and drink water."
"That's some crazy news about corn on the cob... Oh, I'm surprised you didn't **ear** about it!"
"Why do all the elements get cranky once a month? Cause they are on their periodic table."
"In the updated version of The Sixth Sense, Bruce Willis figures out he's dead when he sees his name trending on Twitter."
"Looks like my prof is giving black friday deals too 50% off late assignments."
"[sees old lady drop $20] Devil on Shoulder: Grab her cash! Devil on other Shoulder: And push her over!"
"I was gonna make a Justin Bieber joke.. But, Sorry."
"If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good."