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Joke of the Day
"Friends and lovers may come and go but allergies are forever."
Next Joke
"Sometimes you wish you could just fast forward time just to see if in the end it's all worth it,.."
"Forgot to turn on the oven. Food's been in there for 45mins. I know, cause I set the timer."
"I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!"
"Sometimes my eye-rolls are the most exercise I get all day."
"Pedophiles are every boy's role model when it comes to dating Because they know how to pick up little girls"
"If Mississippi lost her New Jersey what would Delaware? Idaho, Alaska"
"Where is the monster's temple? On the side of his head."
"Keep in mind that ""The Cat in the Hat"" is a lesson to your kids on how to throw a house party when you're gone..."
"Most people know why 6 was afraid of 7 (because 7 ate 9)....but why was 5 afraid of 7? Because six, seven ate."