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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan."

"Imagine if you found a dresser made by Jesus during his ""carpenter"" days. The guys on Antique Roadshow would lose their minds."

"Did you hear about the guy that got trampled by the triplets? He's six feet under now."

"if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named ""Maude"" or ""Agatha"" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine"

"What did the police say to the hot dog? You are under arrest."

"""Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!""- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear"

"Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand."

"At my age, a ""stiffy"" is just my back when I try to crawl out of bed in the morning."

"What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it? A coconut"

"I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching."