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Joke of the Day

"What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it? A coconut"

"I've been going to the gym for 3 weeks now with no results.. What Pokemon do I use to lose weight?"

"What do sexist horses eat? Hay hay hay."

"I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it."

"him: i love you me: im saving my emotions for the star wars premiere"

"Pretty sure 40% of Americans would vote for a giant finger that just pointed at people and said ""Their Fault."""

"I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he's in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like ""Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!"""

"What do you call an object used as seating that can fly? A rocket lawn-chair."

"Why aren't there any asprins in the jungle? The parrots-eat-em-all."

"Pilot episode You know how you can tell if a shows going to be any good based on the pilot, since it sets the tempo for the entire show? I just realized that my dad didn't like the pilot of my life..."