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Joke of the Day

"I always thought that Last of Us needed more animals Nevertheless that giraffe scene with Ellie, fantastic."

"How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun!"

"Hey man, 1980 called. It wants its--oh, can you hold on? I've got 1945 on the other line, and he's conferencing in 1973 so I should get this"

"Can you believe Five Guys is a hamburger place and not an orgy store?! I'm too under dressed and overlubed to eat a hamburger now."

"Kermit the Frog's favorite sex position? Pig in a Blanket."

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own."

"A fish is swimming down a river when it hits its head on a big wall of stone and says ""dam."""

"Your Lawyer and your Wife are drowning! Quick! You must make a decision!! Should you go to the movies, or order pizza?"

"What's the difference between a white woman and a tampon? They're both stuck up cunts."

"How do you tell a chemist no? Nitrogen Monoxide"