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Joke of the Day

"I would rather have Parkinson's than Alzheimer's Because it's better to spill half the glass than forget where you put the liquor."

"Who gets more pleasure from sex? - Well, thinking logically, it must be a woman. - Why? - If you want to scratch your ear, what part of your body gets more pleasure? Finger or ear?"

"Why yes, YouTube, I *did* want to watch part 5 when part 2 ended. How did you know?"

"When is 100 less than 99? On a microwave."

"A world renowned chef undercooked the meat It was a rare misteak"

"*opens present HER: What is this? ME: It's The One Ring. I fought orcs for it. HER: They didn't have that Michael Kors bag I showed you?"

"Every teen trick-or-treating tonight got a handful of candy and a, ""You must be heartbroken. I can't believe Justin Bieber died so young!"""

"Twitterzoned (by Kevin L. Schwartz) Is ""Twitterzoning"" a thing? ""You're okay as a Twitter friend, but let's not get all Facebook about this."" You've been Twitterzoned."

"Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go."

"What is a mathematician's favorite food? A slice of Pi."