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Joke of the Day

"I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo."

"What is the dogs favourite city ? New Yorkie !"

"Probably not the first time you heard this. But, I have two very good qualities. One is memory, and I forgot the other one."

"What do you call a reptile wearing a vest? An investigator. Ba dum tss."

"If you play a Windows Vista disc backwards, you can hear satanic chanting... ...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista."

"I found out a way to go ad - free on youtube with no adblock! Just replace the ""you"" in youtube with ""red"" in your URL and it should get rid of them, i guess they were hiding it from us or something."

"What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half."

"Ice Bank Mice Elf (repeat this 10 times fast)"

"My doctor said I can get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning."

"What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)"