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Joke of the Day

"I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo."

"I Like my Women How I Like my Coffee Hot, wet, and wakes you up in the morning."

"No one will play my mix tape... They say it's a fire hazard."

"Why did Saint Francis cry? Someone called him Assisi."

"Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other ""can you smell fish?""."

"Why did the music critic compare the song to a foul-mouthed mixture of sand and wind? Because it was Da-rude Sandstorm"

"Why don't people like talking about herpes? It's a sore subject."

"What is Steve Job's favorite food? *Nothing because he's dead*"

"""And He was buried and He rose again on the third day and on the fourth day He bought a shitload of Peeps for half price."" 1 Walgreens 15:4"

"I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers... Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed."