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Joke of the Day

"*opens present HER: What is this? ME: It's The One Ring. I fought orcs for it. HER: They didn't have that Michael Kors bag I showed you?"

"A man walks into a bookshop and says, ""can I have a book by Shakespeare?"" ""Of course, Sir, which one?"" The man replies, ""William."""

"What do you get from a forgetful cow? Milk of amnesia!"

"To moma Yo moma so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side"

"I went to a feminist picnic last weekend... No one made any sandwiches."

"I've decided to avoid Turkey this Thanksgiving... Way too close to Syria."

"There is only one type of cake I don't like Stomach ache"

"Not to brag, but according to this food packaging I just ate enough fancy cashews to serve 638 people."

"Ever made love under a mirrored ceiling? I could see myself doing that."

"Oxygen and Magnesium walk into a bar... OMg!"