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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family."

"Why can't Rabbis eat pork and Priests can't have sex? Because the Rabbis got to choose first."

"ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra"

"I bet my girlfriend she couldnt tell me something that made me both happy and sad. So she told me that I had the biggest penis out of all my friends."

"If we can't hit our kids, what's next? A society slowly becoming less violent as we learn more about child development and human psychology?"

"Did you hear about the guy who infected himself with the Zika virus? He wanted a little head."

"Charles Manson not only got a woman while in prison, but a woman that only wanted him for his body. Screw Tinder, I'm going to prison."

"What does a tomato and a potato have in common? Both are red,except from the potato."

"my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard / their like, is this organic? do u hav a vegan option? can u make it with froyo insted"

"What is the difference between a philanthropist and Nicki Minaj? A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**! :-P"