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Joke of the Day

"When it comes to gay sex, I think the backwards views of my grandfather are disgusting So I might try missionary style with him instead"

"After the Heimlich maneuver what's the best way to stop someone from choking? To pull it out."

"What do you call a Muslim optician who doesn't give a fuck about his patients? Asif Eyecare"

"What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the zoo."

"Woman sends emotional text that's 5 paragraphs long. Man responds with ""k."" Woman spontaneously combusts."

"What does an Italian... What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment. AY!"

"Prison Guard: ""So you two cons are in love?"" Con1: ""Yes."" Con2: ""It's like we finish each other's..."" *in unison* ""death sentences."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cellar ! Cellar who ? Cellar. No I think she can be repaired !"

"Define ""Countryside"". The murder of Piers Morgan (Credit to the always amazing Stephen Fry.)"

"How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture"